Monday, December 24, 2007

NOT MYSPACE.. ANY LONGER..


Well, my Myspace page appears to be inacessible.
I emailed their "techs" repeatedly and got only standard faq bullshit that
doesn't even apply, and a slew of automated, useless responses.
If anyone is trying to contact me there and got no replies, that's why!
Just as well.. I wasn't updating it regularly and I haven't gone there much lately.
I guess I'll just blog here when I have thoughts or lack thereof.
Feels much more "off the grid" anyhow, I reckon.
Because I don't like to make blogs without pics, here is some dragonfruit I chewed up and spit in the sink. That is the actual color, honest to god.
Reminds me of a 90's pop-grunge cd cover.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

MORE TALES OF BALLOONSKIN MADMEN!!!!!



It just dawned on me how much flesh and rubber are alike.
The best part about Christmas... like any great and needless
tragedy, is when it's over.
Jesus, click on the pic to see those veins. I think I'm losing my MIIIIIIIND!!!!!

Saturday, December 8, 2007

The Definition of God


Is a mind that does not sleep.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

DON'T!


DON'T eat Mussamun curry and pad thai over a glass tabletop in the dark while stoned and while incense smoke is slowly, languidly wafting over the glass table top...
Just DON'T fucking do it.

Monday, August 27, 2007

FUCK! I WANT A ROBOQUAD!

Not bad for 89 bucks. My cats will love this thing hehe.
Too bad it doesnt have a bluetooth camera built in tho.


the dragonfly entomopter is pretty fucking sweet too. Definitely want one of those, and theyre cheap.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

FUCK YOU.



On the drive home from my shitty job, near my home, i was behind a fat, chevy SUV.
There was a bumper sticker on the back that said "GET OFF THE CELL PHONE AND CONCENTRATE ON BEING A SHITTY DRIVER."
I chortled... something i haven't done concerning a bumper sticker since "I SODOMIZED YOUR HONOR ROLL STUDENT." back in 94 or so.
Anyhow, as i drive past this person who made me chortle, the person who dropped this amusing nugget in my path, I glance in the driver's side window.
It's some dumb, kid-shitting, mouth breather, typical beast of a NW mom, ON A CELL PHONE.
I wish i could take my chortle back and reconstitute it into phlegm, so I could hawk it right on the bumper sticker, or better yet, in her face, causing her to yelp in disgust.
This is me after I get off work. Enjoy!

ST. ROSE, OREGON...

Question... how many "Postmen" went to see "THE POSTMAN"?
I'm thinking quite a few.
I watched it again last night because i liked it when i saw it ages ago, and I'm an unashamed "WATERWORLD" fan.
Hell, you can't go wrong with a movie that includes a huge vat of enzymes and putrid green sludge that people are "recycled" in when they croak it.
My love affair with sci-fi is pretty tolerant I guess. I'll watch 99% of sci-fi movies.
Anyhow, yeah, The Postman is fucking horrid.
See the scene where he gets a running start on a horse, charges past a small child and snatches a letter out of his hand.
In what scenario would that be a good idea? I mean I don't give a shit about the kid, but that's just unsafe.
You can't build a post-apocalyptic mailman-god figure by possibly running down a child holding a letter out.
Yeah, that's all i got.... back to work, I guess.
Love, Me.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Facial...



Thank God I'm feeling inspired again.
I was in a slump for a while there, and probably will be again, but I sculpted something the other night for the first time in 5-6 years and was happy with it.
Got some new supplies, so hopefully the artistic stretch goes further hehe.
This is Jarlaxle. Yup, he's smiling... kinda.

Sunday, July 8, 2007

HOW MY GARDEN GROWS...





Another weekend and another photoshop.
Hopefully I can keep this streak going. Probably not, but whatever. It's fun when it happens.

I've had this clump of ginger on top of my fridge for a few months now.
I went to throw it away a week ago and noticed that not only was it not dead, it had sprouted a bright green, scallion like appendage.
The creepy part was, a gaping hole that looked eerily like a mouth ala "The scream" had appeared on one end. Not only that, but the area where the hole appeared was very much head-shaped, and some of the natural wrinkles and contours of the ginger's skin formed what looked remarkably close to mummified facial features.
The energy it used to form the bright green appendage must have shriveled the end, causing the hole.

I figured it was ideal for photoshopping because it really looked like a little mutated humanoid on it's own, so i took lots of pictures yesterday when the sun was accessible.
I also took several face pics in the same session.
Then today, I took several pics of my hands in various poses, trying to keep a similiar lightsource.
It was pretty damned hard because i would have to get the distance and lighting right so it would be in focus, then hit the timer and hurry up and get in whatever pose.

After i had all the source pics i needed, I cut out a face I liked, blended it and made sure it fit over the existing natural face, changed the hue a bit to match the green spire, and edited here and there to let the background come thru to make it more "natural" looking heh.

Then, I selected a few hands and made them match the face's new growth coloring.
This project took about 5 hours total and Im still not sure I'm done with it.
I tried to make it look as natural as possible, but there are many different pieces and light sources... also, it's completely UNNATURAL.
I mean, its a goddamned Ginger-man.
I'm not sure if i like the color, or black and white version yet. I'll post them both.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

FUNGUS AMONG US



MYCOSAPIENS
Imagine a race of intelligent creatures descended from spores and fungi.
Perhaps possible after a nuclear winter type situation from either nuclear holocaust or impact from a massive comet or asteroid.
Fungus doesnt need sunlight to exist, only the tissue of dead things.
Ascendant fungus based organisms feeding on a greater population of drone-class fungi, perhaps slime molds with little consciousness, but providing vast amounts of fungi grown only to supplement the greater organisms as a renewable resource.

Rapidly growing, aggressive tissue that can feed and spread unchecked in a world of suddenly dead things.

Sunday, July 1, 2007

How I feel on occasion...






A fairly typical Sunday actually...

This is a photoshop I did today out of boredom and gasp! a smidge of inspiration. A
rarity these days.

Anyhow, I used a tripod and my canon digital rebel xti, set up a chair in the ole backyard, and took a bunch of photos with props and my head leaning to both sides.
First pic is one of the right leaning originals.

Then i added a chunk of left torso and head from another photo.
The piece i added had a lame head, not crazy enough, so i took a head with a wackier expression from a third photo and pieced it in.

I had to be a bit resourceful masking some bits that had an arm in them.
I took bits of greenery from another pic that had higher detail and fit then in between the crook of my arm and the chair, and also between the chair's arm and the body of the chair.

Next, I had to alter the shirt and it's image to look like it was actually made to be worn by a two headed individual.

After everything was in place, i used warp on individual bits to get them where i wanted them, normalized lots of the color and lighting differences, and edite the image's color, shadow/highlight and contrast to make it more dynamic.

All in all it took me about three hours, used bits from 5 different photos.
This webres version posted here doesnt really show the detail and realism I was going for, but it turned out pretty sweet.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

SPOILER ALERT.... DUH...

If you don't know tonight was the last sopranos, then what the fuck do you care if it was spoiled? eh?
I just didn't want erin to see this...
anyhow. sort of a non-ending.
You really have to appreciate the genius of David chase.
How do you satisfy the raging curiosity of the entire civilized world?
Give them multiple possibilities, lots of fast cuts and NO CONCLUSION.
Chase did about as good as any human is cognitively capable given the circumstances.
Ah well,... at least i Still have Curb your enthusiasm, The Wire and The shield to look forward to.
If the Antichrist shows up, he'll have to get in line behind those shows and my bills before I realize he's arrived.

Replace this whore with yourself as a viewing nation and you'll begin to get some idea of who got fucked tonight.
Seriously tho, I love the show and this was a genius conclusion if not the one everyone wanted to see.

Saturday, June 9, 2007

CYMOTHOA EXIGUA


This thing is officially my new hero.
Just think of it, a naturally occuring, appendage replacement organism.
Now I just need some tentacle replacements for my arms.


Tongue-eating isopod, Cymothoa exigua

This isopod causes degeneration of the tongue of its host fish the rose snapper, Lutjanus guttatus, and it then attaches to the remaining tongue stub and floor of the fish's mouth by hook-like pereopods. In this position the isopod superficially resembles its host's missing tongue. Brusca & Gilligan (1983) hypothesize that these isopods serve as a mechanical replacement for the fish's tongue and represent the first known case in animals of functional replacement of a host structure by a parasite. This relationship is so-far known only from the Gulf of California.

Friday, June 8, 2007

CHILDREN OF DAGON...

Went to the coast this week. Probably the best time I've had in a decade.
The weather was supposed to be shitty, but Erin and I just wanted to go for the sake of going. It turned out gorgeous. Not idyllic sunny weather the whole time, but really high contrast, violently beautiful clouds and color combos.
It was like being on the gleaming edge of the birth of creation. Very primordial and organic.

We took 1042 photos total before the batteries ran out.
First we stayed in Seaside and took a shitload, then the next day we found a fucking amazing spot called Ecola Point. The name caught our attention because it sounds like a cross between Ebola and E-coli.

Made some quick found object art with dead sandbugs and crab carcasses.
There was also a rad slime waterfall with the most incredible bright green and dark olive slime dripping and pouring down the trail to the point.
The second half of the trail we had to rapel down.
All in all two of the best days of my life.
Here are some pics I just edited and sized.





Thursday, May 31, 2007

5 THINGS IVE REALIZED TODAY...



My love affair with creatures, in particular, cephalopods, continues and is likely never to end.
I would Kill someone to be able to express my frustration, lust, rage and occasional happiness with the aid of a chromatophoric lightshow at will.
Saw a rad show about cephalopods on the science channel tonight.

2. Pizzas are too fucking expensive. Even when they have a special, its 20 bucks at least with tip.

3. Im going to be very bummed when sopranos is over. The curbing was enough to give me a hardon and now there are only two eps left.

4. This new apt rules in hot weather. hot damn i love high ceilings.

5. I'm fairly drunk after one straight vodka. Exercising during the day in the hot sun = drunk in one drink.

Excelsior!

DIE HARDEST...



HOLY SCHNIKES. i just watched Die Hard II aka "Die Harder"
and just realized that "General Esperanza" is Franco Nero... AKA "DJANGO", also starred in "Hitch-hike" with David Hess.
Small world.
Carry on...

Saturday, May 26, 2007

NEBERNAAX


Found this on my old computer today.
I need to finish it. I wrote it to inspire a drawing or two. No such luck yet!



~ NEBERNAAX ~
something large shambled sidelong from the stinking, sulphurous pits.
Legion and twitching, deformed limbs.Slowly and perpetually forming, tearing and absorbing imperfect tendons,
muscles and bones.
Hooves cloven and forked, avian talons, fleshy digits, equine, porcine, canine, tentacled members...
blobbish protuberances fitted with sucking snail tracks and needle sharp translucent teeth.
It was a hideous thing to behold.

There were sagging, bladder sacs leaking foul gasses, a large, semi-transparent, sectioned tube that
ended in what resembled an ovipositor or distended bowel. I shuddered to think what godforsaken offspring
this horror might spawn.
The whole of the thing was covered in mottled, distressed flesh. It had a sickly, greenish cast making it appear to be
be decomposing in places, and peppered with weeping sores and obscene, yawning mouths, dripping ichorous slop in a
pool of foetor that burned into the ground. There were patches of coarse, spotty, unhealthy hair and what looked
like ragged, fibrous scales or spikes.

A thousand eyes of every imaginable zoological origin spread over its bulk
and burned outward with malevolent intensity and a seemingly ageless primordial wisdom.
They were spread wide open like the eyes of the terminally insane. Pupils, where visible, gaping and closing
to pinpricks of pure chaos and inscendiary hatred.

I gasped and the eyes locked on me at once, their horrifying gaze making my clammy skin crawl in revolt.
The mouths began to utter gibberish, perhaps curses, oaths, prayers to unspeakable dark dieties, innate blasphemies.
The frenzied gibbering chewed at my sanity.

Then the limbs began to shudder and propel the beast toward me in an awkward ambulatory shuffle.
It was like watching all the horror of sicknkess and mutation coming at me on the legs of a centipede..
That is if those legs were of all different shapes, sizes and species.
It would have been almost laughable if it was something seen in a movie, and not
the most godawful thing i had ever seen in the flesh.

As it moved, mouths simultaneously cursing, vomiting and gnashing ghastly teeth,
I heard a nauseating symphony of cracking bones, creaking sinews and abscesses swelling and bursting in wet "pops"
and "splatters".
Nameless organs ruptured and skin split with the effort of movement, only to heal and rapidly glaze over with a
sickening gossamer pink coating.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

SPATULA CITY


Remember these guys?
what a shitty fucking day. 11 hours of total bullshit and sheer idiocy on tap for all to enjoy.
The only good parts of the whole day were eating thai for dinner, listening to old phil hendrie shows and leaving work.
I need to start on that get-rich-quick scheme, post haste.
Ever seen a cybernetic octopus? Ive decided thats my next tat. Hot damn deluxe.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

FOR SHITS N' GIGGLES...

Here is a pic of Charles Whitman.... thats all i got.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Friday, May 11, 2007

Foul.



Am i the only person who can smell the bacteria in saliva?
I swear, I must have really virulent spit or something. I just went to take a swig off the ole' nalgene knockoff water bottle and the rim smelled like a wet dog. I'm always smelling it, even on freshly washed dishes.
ho-hum.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Noid... Adenoid? Solenoid? ANNOYED!!!


Gay. today i got shit done at work due to other people's bullshit.
I get home to discover that adjusting the volume in ANY way on my PC causes an instant reboot.
now running spyware doctor.
Tomorrow will be a grueling marathon of utmost annoyance, white knuckled rage and a constant shitstorm of ineptitude.
At least the weekend is close.
Also, new office tonight. Next to last episode.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007



today was all in all a decent day. got all my laundry done, got an hour of cardio done, watched 5 or so hours of the shield.
Christ that show has taken over my life. after im all caught up to season 6, I might actually have to do something productive with my time.

Monday, April 30, 2007

McGah...


I need a new job.
At least today is my friday. I'm living high on the hog, watching season 5 of the shield.
I have dreams of monsters, violence and infinitesmal gruesome detail for the next few days.
no, im not insane or a serial killer, just talking about what happens on my screen, paper, strings.. whatever.
the shitty part is i have to do a SHITLOAD of laundry tomorrow before anything cool can happen.
Better paranoid and still around than unaware and in the ground, I always say to the kiddies.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Ainsworth trail in the gorge







































Went hiking yesterday. everyone and their malingering uncle was out and about. The only place i could find to park was near a campground and trailhead called Ainsworth. It was the first time I'd hiked it and it turned out to be really cool. Not as hard as Wahkeenah Falls, more gradual. There was a rad falls with a cave under it that was really neat. Later there was a slim bridge over a falls-fed grotto. I got some cool shots below. The mushroom turned out awesome. it was just one of those opportune moments. I didnt see many insects unfortunately, but I dont have the pimp macro lens i was planning on getting anyhow. Got the mac instead and I think it was a better decision. These shots are webres. The actual shots are huge 10.2 megapixel quality.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Hot Damn...

well, this is my first blog ever. just got a new macbook pro 2.16 and its sweeeeet.
ill post some random thoughts, rants, complaints, pics, in time... for now BAM!