Alcohol River Dream

I lost my skin, over and over again.. wading through the river of life, looking for my mind.
Sometimes, I think I've found it, but it usually turns out to be a crude facade.. a poor bas relief of a brain mould
that crumbles into dust, that disappears into nothingness.
When I find it, I try to hold on tight, but it's slippery in the rushing water. The water is oily. it is in fact pure oil.
While I grasp it, I try to clean it by scrubbing it on the smooth, brightly colored stones that comprise the river bed.
a rainbow cobblestones of glistening gems and jewels, vitrified and glowing with some strange inner light that might indicate life force.
My mind is a rubbery cheeseburger.. elastic and bouncy. Elusive and nearly intangible. Rubbery but ungraspable. I ply it
and massage it, taking note of the striations, ripples, veins, fibrous pulpy mass of electrical nonsense.. "Give it a
good scrub, and douse it with 90% iso alcohol.. kills the germs" my Father used to tell me. The Alcohol pools nearby offer
easy rinsing, and I almost get it back in my head, but it slips out of my grasp again. "FUCK!"
As it turns out, Having held it for just fractions of seconds is somehow enough to scrape out an existence. I never hold it for even a full second,
but if you add up all the partial seconds over time, it's enough for a life. just enough.