Tuesday, July 7, 2009
I had a FUCKED nightmare last night. I've been having several a week for the past few months. I guess my mind has some serious shit to work out. Hope it's working because some of this stuff is more horrid than I could dream up even when I was writing gore metal lyrics.
I dreamt that my jaw worked in such a way that I began scraping the roof of my mouth with my bottom row of teeth, gouging away furrows of soft palate tissue, chewing and swallowing it.
The flesh looked and tasted like corned beef, and I kept chewing it away and eating it with no regard to my health. After awhile, the tissue was damaged to the extent that my top row of teeth was wobbly and barely held in place by the roots. By then it was too late. My teeth and mouth were ruined and there was nothing left to chew or eat either. Double loss.
Then I dreamed I had caught a spider and a hornet. I tortured them by dropping them in a cup of gasoline and would fish them out before they died, so I could keep doing it. I thought to myself "If they get away and live, they'll want revenge." Then they did get away, and I was scared, but resigned myself to whatever fate they had in mind because I realized "I deserve this."
I'm glad my subconscious thinks of this shit, because I don't want to. The bad news is, I have the capacity to remember all the fucked details anyway. It's interesting, but a bit scary to me.
I'm hoping my subconscious in it's supposed wisdom will sort this all out before it drives me insane.