Cheeseburger violence erupted at McDonaldland today as a burglary went horribly wrong. A pirate and a masked man dressed in a stripey uniform broke into McDonaldland and proceeded to eat it's citizens. Mayor McCheese and several of his flock were eaten alive in the assault. Several packages of frozen fry guys tried to stop the attackers but were subsequently fried in oil and eaten for their trouble. The nightmare ended when Officer BigMac shot the intruders dead in front of a dozen screaming children and their horrified families. Evidence suggests this was an inside job, and authorities are currently seeking an individual known only as "Grimace".