...

This is a strange time.
2 things I'm glad for:
1: my taxes are fucking DONE.

2: I'm experiencing a creativity spurt, which is like
life itself to me. The most miserable and close to suicide I've ever
been was during times when I couldn't create something.
I have to be somewhat miserable in order to be inspired.
So I make something. Something probably laughable or plain hideous by
everyone else's standards. No matter. Just getting it out
and into tangibly visible form... it's almost like any other
bodily function. You can't just suppress it without consequence.
It's basically an involuntary ecaculation of condensed thought vapor.
Then,... again, much like bodily functions, you feel better.
The problem is, miserable doesn't automatically and always = inspiration.
When you are both miserable AND uninspired.. those are tough times.

"Thought vomit" has a nice ring to it.

Pets are the first wave...

They live among us, sleep next to us, map our homes, watch everything we do.
Assessing behavior, testing tolerances and weaknesses.
Goddamn near every home has a pet or 4.
I love the shit out of mine, but I swear, their little Nikon eyes are
cataloguing every stupid thing I do. Probably streaming it across the universe
to some laughing alien culture as "alien reality tv"
Can you think of a better way to gain complete control of the human race slowly, without messy initial warfare?
They would know every detail of our lives. They wouldn't all be alien agenst mind you, just some. A million or so, in choice households and demographics, forever observing and cataloging. Perhaps some sort of Doppelganger hybrid alien that can take on common pet forms.

The way of things...

It occurs to me that on the whole, the new cancer will be nanotechnology.
At first, like metal, like plastic, like gold, like oil, like uranium, it will be the answer to every problem.
Nanomeds, NanoStims, NanoTranqs, NanoGens, NanoHair, NanoTeeth, NanoFlesh, NanoMetabolisms, NanoAcid NanoDemo, NanoVirus, NanoPet, NanoBlood...
In a minimum of 20 years, every aspect of the modern world will be forever altered by the all-encompassing and irrevocable force of Nanotechnology.
Every function of modern life will be affected.
Military, Societal, Medical, Academic, Scientific, Law Enforcement, Luxury, Tourism, Recreational drug use, Sports Enhancement, Construction, Production, Transport, Aerospace Engineering, Genetic Engineering, Civil Engineering.
As certain elements become more scarce and sought after, structure, rather than
substance is likely to become more important.

The future is small, invisible to the naked eye, and smart with a vast memory and far reaching feelers. Ever reaching, adapting, with a small stomach, voracious hunger and a long life.

BACON-WRAPPED SLOTH GIBLETS...

Lately I've been questioning whether I'm a real person or not.
Everything seems sort of misty and half-formed, driving feels like a video game.
My anger has been severely disproportionate and quick to flare lately.
If someone just goes around me on the highway, I take it personally and immediately
want to bash their face in, regardless of who they are.
I think perhaps I will one day die at the hands of some idiot in a car I've yelled at or
flipped off.
Not sure what's causing it, recent indulgent habits? brain chemistry slowly eroding and
breaking down, thrown off balance.
I'm not depressed or anything, but it just seems like the world is coming right up to the edge of the end.
Maybe I'm projecting, then again there are, at present, any number of ways that the end could be triggered.
I for one, welcome it. We live in interesting times, life is cheap, gas is expensive, violence persists and at greater
frequency than ever before.
Every institution is slowly breaking down, losing efficiency.

At least the end won't be boring. We're lucky to live in the omega of humanity.
This cheerful sentiment brought to you by:

MESOTHELIOMA CHEESE...

What the fuck ever happened to "VR"?
it was supposed to be the face of the next generation.

Kashi "Roll!" bars are too fucking hard to chew. I almost lose a filling every time
I bite into one. Good thing I got a box of 24!

Alright, rant over... blood pressure returning to normal....

MYSPACE, ONCE MORE!

Yeah, I'm not really THAT excited about it, but it IS a great way to stay in touch with people. I haven't finished transferring all my info and friends, but eventually.
It needed a new theme anyhow, and I have some sweet photos I want to use for background.
Anyhow, here it is for y'all who give a shite.

www.myspace.com/nanogen

I'm feeling good once again tonight thankfully.
The world isn't bad all the time.

Life really fucking sucks sometimes...

Especially when you have no insurance and neither do your loved ones.
There is no reason ANYONE should have to wait 5+ hours in a shitty emergency waiting room
waiting to hear how someone is doing.

I've seen how hospitals treat people with no insurance and it is in a word FUCKED.
An emergency waiting room, particularly the one at Adventist Hospital in PDX, is like
an especially foetid little slice of hell served on a cold, dirty plate.

I saw a woman, 30 yrs old, crying and puking into a blue bag that was presumably full of piss or vomit.
She waited almost as long as I did to get seen, and walked to and fro, crying and carrying her bag of waste with her.
I asked her " do you want me to get someone?" "No, they won't do anything, thank you tho.."
There was a 50-something woman with some kind of head injury who had been there 6 or more hours.

When people are in emergency waiting rooms, they are especially vulnerable. A heightened sense of empathy
and sympathy occur, and people begin to share stories.
I was grateful that I was healthy, but I was worried sick for my girlfriend and worried for everyone else there as well.

I've always hated hospitals. As soon as I enter one, I start aching. I can feel the tangible mist of pain emanating from
the patients and it makes me feel very fragile and ill.

Anyhow, had to get it out.
I hope everyone who reads this or those that I know fare well and don't have to
enter an emergency room as a patient or a loved one any time soon.

I'm not the most religious person on earth, but I must admit I've prayed more in the last
month than I've probably ever prayed in my life.